By Dana Janine Diamond
Echo, play Joni Mitchell
and I’m singing along
back in my college dorm
she cheered my love
nursed my heartbreak
I’m on my green circles couch
in my family room
with my cat and dog
waiting for
the slight scratch of the needle
as it kisses the album
listening to the music
every day after school
I barely remember what I learned
back then
but I know every song I listened to
the lyrics, oh the lyrics
they have filled my mind
for a lifetime
I ran outside in the morning
danced in the afternoon
in my living room
where my family gathered
to host book clubs
and discuss liberal politics,
my french piano in the corner
my brother played guitar
with his friends
I pontificated
about passing the ERA
knocked on doors
won debates
still, still…
gossiped on the phone
for hours with girlfriends
twisting the cord round
and round
and poetry, always poetry
I read Catcher in the Rye
in elementary school
and asked my teacher
in all innocence
what a boner was
he turned bright red
(he’s a bestselling author now
so he turned out okay)
my life is a series
of connections
the night I lost
my virginity in college
I took a long, late night walk
under the stars
in the moonlight
and the first person I saw,
told, was JD Salinger’s daughter
she congratulated me
it all makes sense
in retrospect
of course the feckless
curly, red-haired boy
broke my heart
he wanted to be a chiropractor
to this day I don’t really trust chiropractors
I loved my twenties
married the love of my life
in secret
in a pinky-peach, soft Betsy Johnson dress
he’s back running Greece now
but we talked and kissed
for hours and hours
in Village cafes
for years
I owned the streets of NY
if you ever lived there
you know what I mean
riding in limousines
to deliver champagne
gifts from Steve and Ian
thanks for keeping
them out of jail
we danced and decorated
and celebrated
and I loved Hilly
how not to,
edited stories at MS.
Gloria was luminous
God, my twenties were fun
but then the poetry called
I needed to understand
the mysteries
of this world,
walked that path
with my loyalty
to a fault
escaped, but not before
bruises on my face
on my soul
I look back and wonder
how did I endure that life?
And yet leaving religion
took all of my courage
and then some
I’ve been molested, raped, punched
spat on (fuck you Rabbi ;))
but my glowing spirit
outshines all you
could ever do
because I’m wild and precious
I’m a colorful garden
still growing
my magnificent rose
she is everything
I leave my words as rose petals
my loving gift to you
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